This whole spring and summer feel a bit like being permanently stuck in line at Disney —every time you round another corner, certain it’s finally your turn to have some fun (or make any progress or plans), you face another whole packed set of snaking queue barriers with no end in sight! Aargh!
June marches on…and we’ve lost count of the days, weeks, months we’ve spent “dealing” with the ravages of Covid-19, massive life disruption, economic instability, and facing the horrific crimes of racism. It’s exhausting to keep processing all this, let alone attempt to calm our over-alarmed nervous systems!
Where is that clever guidebook or cheerful Disney character (or trustworthy, unified leadership!) to help you negotiate this uncertainty or reassure you that you are even in the right line for that ride to a healthy, financially stable, and meaningfully engaged life???
What can you do when the drama drags on? With routines and roadmaps out the window, it’s time to pull out your inner GPS, starting with what you already know for sure (but can easily forget in your busy-ness):
- What’s really important to you—the long-haul perspective?
- What has worked for you in the past?
- What does not work for you?
You are not alone if just reading those 3 not-so-little questions makes you a bit uneasy. Many of us have perfected the art of “busy” to avoid possibly uncomfortable self-reflection 🙂. The human brain finds some comfort in the illusion of certainty of status quo, even when said state is less than healthy or happy.
But along comes this massive disruption forcing us all to re-evaluate status quo. Turns out this crisis has many reconsidering their career and life choices, and even relationships! But how do you even begin that process when you are so tired and unsettled?
Start by using the questions above with a light and compassionate heart. This isn’t a matter of “getting it right” or beating yourself up for every “wrong” turn you’ve taken. (Waaay too many bruises for me!) Nor is it time to make fast or rash decisions or delude yourself that an airtight master plan will wipe out all uncertainty. But it is a great opportunity to set aside some time to get curious about the possible gifts of this chaos.
10 helpful tips for exploring the world of possibilities beyond status quo:
- Set aside specific times with boundaries or you can drive yourself crazy!
- Calm your body to calm your mind before you start. You cannot access creativity and wiser thinking if your brain is fighting fires. Simple breathwork will do the trick. Add a few stretches for extra credit.
- Create a ritual for yourself that reassures your brain that it’s safe to go into curious and creative mode. Your brain loves cues.
- Dedicate a notebook to these questions and thoughts. Writing helps you process, find clarity, and heal. Having a place to park these explorations helps you capture your own wisdom. Keep some running lists—this is not a one and done process!
- Remind yourself this is exploration, play, looking from different viewpoints, thinking about fit…even if the stakes feel high. (Breathe again!) Creativity blossoms when the more you let go.
- Use colors and pictures to engage non-verbal processing and wisdom.
- Stuck deciding on something? Put ideas/choices on sticky notes where you can see them for a few days (bathroom mirror?) and let them percolate to clarity.
- Make some this a family/team/buddy activity. Ex: Make a family values board. Here’s a good card sort exercise from The Good Project.
- Do the same for strengths. Here’s a great assessment with a kids version as well.
- Never, ever forget that you are not alone, even though it may feel like it. Chances are someone else would love to help you think things through. Don’t you like to help others?
What if one of the best gifts of 2020 is the chance to reconnect within, to feel more control of your life choices, or how to spend your precious energy and attention, even when the current situation is beyond control? Maybe you’ll find you are happy with your status quo? Thoughtfully renewing your commitment can be hugely energizing and give you the resilience to ride the storm.
Or maybe you take this time to strategize some course changes. Whichever, taking time to capture your wisdom and orient to your values is always well spent—and a good way to regain a bit of control and sanity in this “chronic crisis.”
As usual… I welcome your thoughts, ideas, feedback, inspirations, jokes, and recipes… we are all in this together!!!
And since helping folks find calm, clarity, curiosity, creativity, and compassion to figure out this being human is my thing… and the heart of coaching, let me know if you’d like to have a conversation!
